I’ve been talking with my friends about the experience of leaving Microsoft to start my own projects. We all have different thoughts and I’m throwing my own into the ring.
Most articles on career happiness spout abstract quotes about following your passions. Sure, those thoughts are nice (and I’ll link to a few), but I want to share the specific details with you:
- Keep a Feel Good list
- Keep an Idea List
- Read the “experts”
And above all: Don’t trick yourself.
Starting off: So…what do you want to do?
Ah, the tough question which started your quest and the one you may dread: Why do you want to go off on your own, anyway? What are you going to do? Isn’t the regular life good enough?
There’s no easy answer. Even months after leaving Microsoft to try entrepreneurship, the decision isn’t crystal clear. Only now, after looking backwards for half a year, am I comfortable with my choice.
Thinking about it more, I don’t want there to be a solid answer to “What should I do?”. Imagine being told your life’s work at age 12: “You’ll be a Molecular Biologist”. Sure, that job may be great for you, but wouldn’t you at least wonder about the other options?
I want life to be more of a surprise, though I realize not everyone is like this. I think it’s ok to be lost, fight through some tough times which inspire you to search for what you enjoy.
You need rain to appreciate sunshine — and both are needed to make the beautiful, brilliant, one-in-a-million flower of your heart grow. Said another way, you need to touch a hot stove to know deep down inside that hot stoves aren’t for you. Take your pick of analogy, the “I’m a special snowflake” stuff isn’t really my style.
Don’t trick yourself
Beware the traps of justification and attribution when thinking about your life. Many people justify past decisions because they want them to make sense and feel better. “Yes, I like wandering around and then finding my passion because it makes me appreciate it more,” you might have heard someone say. For some, it seems that no matter what happens, it was the “right thing” or that it was “meant to be that way”. I’m on the fence about whether this is a coping mechanism, optimistic viewpoint (I’m an optimist), or whether it makes you appreciate life more.
Yes, most clouds have silver linings. But sometimes getting hit in the head with a shovel is just getting hit in the head with a shovel. It’s not fun, there’s not much educational value, and your life really is better without it.
Other people attribute every effect to a cause. They see an effect and start looking frantically for its cause. While I believe in cause and effect, I don’t always believe in mankind’s ability to interpret them. Do police officers cause crime because cities with more police have more murders? Surely not, but most arguments aren’t as easy to disentangle. Many people love to dispense advice and pretend they know why things happened the way they did. I tend to be more skeptical of this.
I’m aware of but not immune to these faults (neither are you, most likely), so take this with a grain of salt. Take each person’s experience as just that: their experience, with their mindset, their background, and their situation.
Also recognize that we aren’t always perfect snowflakes all the time. Have the courage to admit where you need to improve. Now let’s get onto the tips.
Step 1: Keep a “Feel Good” List
I don’t remember where I read this, but I love the idea. Keep a simple text file on your computer, mine’s called feelgood.txt. Whenever you have an experience that really makes you happy, put in an entry, even just a few words or a sentence. Here are some of mine:
2/4/07: Ron said I was good at thinking of big picture stuff! Remember when we went snowboarding, that was awesome. 1/27/07: I got capistrano + mongrel working! Wow, now I understand what it all means!! Amazing. Crazy. Awesome. 9/12: I got graphs in instacalc!!! Wow!!! 8/31/06: Great toastmasters speech! Enthusiastic! Had good feedback, think I did a good job. Feeling more and more that I can teach, etc. on my own.
Some days you’ll have five. Sometimes I’ll go a week or more without writing in it. The goal is to start keeping track of what makes you get excited about life.
Here’s the rub: if you try and sit down and name your favorite things, you might think of a few off the top of your head. But this is in the moment. You’ve forgotten about what made you happy last week, last month or last year.
The feelgood list lets you look back and see patterns in what you like. Here are a few patterns I noticed:
- Intuitively understanding technology
- Thinking of new “big-picture” ideas
- Improvements in teaching, communication, and education
- Creating content that people find useful
These trends seem “obvious” to me in hindsight… but how do you get hindsight without looking at your past? Our memories aren’t perfect and it’s hard to see trends in your own experience.
The feelgood list is also a great way to pick yourself up when feeling down: reading the old entries recreates the feeling I had at the time. Sometimes a “minor” word of encouragement (from the giver’s perspective) can have a huge effect on you. One small compliment may really stick with you and encourage you try something new or keep going (like Ron’s comment while snowboarding — he likely doesn’t remember).
This can work both ways — an offhand, snide remark can turn you off from a subject forever, so watch out for this. It’s hard to predict what has an impact on you — just write down what does.
Keep a feelgood list. Review it peridiocally. Repeat.
Step 2: Keep an “Ideas” List
More lists! Keep another file (ideas.txt, .doc, .xls, .etc) to write down your awesome ideas.
“Uh… what ideas?” you’re probably thinking. You have them, probably a dozen a day. The problem, again, is if I ask you for your ideas you’ll give me a list of 5, the things you thought about just now. That’s not good enough, chump. I want dozens, hundreds.
If you’re like me (all I know is my own experience), your head is constantly buzzing with thought. You’re in line at the grocery store — you’re thinking of stuff. You’re driving — you’re thinking of stuff. You’re “zoning out”, or so it appears — you’re actually thinking of stuff.
You’re doing all this thought, some about new ideas, and nothing is saved. No “Untitled Document (1)” is sitting around in your brain. And that’s a problem.
InstaCalc, BetterExplained, and a few unreleased projects are the result of these idea lists. Sure, not every idea is a winner — but you need to have some in order to pick and choose. Out of 50+ ideas in my list, perhaps 5 or 6 are “winners” that I feel really excited about doing.
And speaking of winners, remember that the idea isn’t judged when you write it down. You are capturing version 1 of the thought. If it’s interesting to you, you’ll come back a week later and make version 1.5. Then version 2, then version 10. InstaCalc is probably on version 500 in terms of the number of enhancements and features I’ve added since when I’ve started. And “a faster online calculator” doesn’t sound that sexy as a V1 idea, but it can still become something useful with some iteration.
You can’t get to version 500 if you don’t start with a version 1.
Your ideas are another insight into your mind — the things you think about, enjoy, and want to make better. Most of my ideas are around services that I’d find useful as a programmer or learner, and enhancements to existing tools. They are mostly software-related because that’s my background, though some are around education and communication.
The best part about keeping a list is that your ideas multiply like rabbits in your notebook. Each idea new idea can be combined with each of the old ones, leading to even more variations. Next week when you have yet another idea, it can enhance the older ones and the cycle keeps going.
I also keep a stack of index cards by my bed — I sometimes have brainstorms before going to sleep. I can remember nights where I’d be lying on my pillow and then bam, I’d get up a dozen times to write down a thought. It was a bit annoying at the time (“I just want to sleep!!!”) but my brain kept firing. I’m thankful now — most of those thoughts turned into features for InstaCalc.
So keep a text file and notebook (for offline use) to track those ideas streaming from your unique snowflake head. I prefer a plain text file because it’s simple, reliable, and fast. I need speed when pumping out thoughts.
The more ideas I write down, the more I seem to have. I’m sure you’ll be the same.
Step 3: Read the “experts”
I originally started by reading the experts, but found a lot of value from the feelgood and idea lists. I really value self-learning and I prefer these techniques.
But you’re reading this article, and I’m writing it, so I recognize the role of external tips and advice in getting started. Here’s what helped me:
Understand Your Personality
The point of personality tests isn’t to put you into a box. It’s to recognize the talents you have. The irony is that because we find something easy, we assume others do too, and therefore believe the skill is not valuable.
It’s not always the case — some things that come easily to you (talking to strangers, using computers, doing math, writing, humor, relating to others) may be really hard for many other people.
These tests can help you step back and realize what you do that others don’t.
- Now, Discover Your Strengths – Understand what you do well and work from there. (My top 5: Strategic, Ideation, Learner, Achiever, Intellection).
- Myers-Briggs test – puts people into one of 16 boxes. I fit best (not “am”, I “fit best”) with INTP. This has led to additional insights: “… not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security…”.
Get Inspired
Sometimes it helps to remember why you are on this quest in the first place — to be happier and live a better life.
- Collected Notes on Success — I’ve collected a few inspirational speeches on pursuing your passions.
- What should I do with my life? helped inspire me to follow my own path when reading it in college.
Parting Thoughts
The wonderful and frustrating thing about understanding yourself is that nobody can do it for you. After a year of thinking about this seriously, I know what I like (learning and technology), what comes naturally to me (thinking about ideas and intuitive understanding) and what my ideas are about (improvements to software and education).
I had hunches about these things (obvious in hindsight, remember), but thinking about them solidly is very useful.
These insights aren’t set in stone – I don’t want them to be! Some of my greatest joys have been from seemingly random decisions and paths, like deciding to join karate or do toastmasters. These clues have given me a fulfilling direction to follow, and I’ll correct the course over time. Software happened to be the first field on the list of what I enjoy, and I’ll continue pursuing it as long as it keeps me excited.
There’ll be more articles on the mechanics of going on your own — a better understanding of what you want is a good staring point. Happy soul-searching.
Very good thought!! I must be awake from my daily technical enthusiasm and think some life orientation. I will follow your tips. Thanks !
Two things: First, I’m a bit embarrassed to say I just (today) ran across your site. Kudos to you and what your site is “all about”. Second, as someone who left the “easy” life (CTO/partner for a small tech company) 10 months ago to take on a more entreprenurial path, you’ve given me another shot of optimism. Thanks much for you and your site. –GoldRam–
Thanks, glad you liked it! Yeah, the journey isn’t easy but it’s been worthwhile.
Almost feels like reading my own journal. I have been keeping an idealog for over 5 years (first in a word document and now in a Wiki). I love technology and teaching too.
Hi Dorai, thanks for the comment — looking at your blog it seems we have a lot in common!
Thanks Kalid for these wonderful tips. Though I’ve been thinking on these lines from a long time, I had never acted on it. This article has surely motivated me to take the first step.
Hi Sunil, I’m glad you liked it! Good luck with your pursuits
I’ve been rocking on _How to Think Like Leonardo da Vinci_ for my self-knowledge years, but it was only this year that I really started to get the power of using jillions of index cards. I’d like to utilize technology to track ideas at some point, but for now it’s all paper (much of which has ideas about how to track ideas with technology…)
Hi Tom, it sounds like an interesting book, I’ll have to check it out sometime.
Yeah, I’d like to find a good technology solution, but it’s hard to match paper for simplicity, durability & reliability (two things technology isn’t really good at). Right now it’s index cards, notebooks and text files for me
Funny, I’m an INTP too (at least I was when I took the test a few years ago), and I also keep an ideas list, and try to keep paper by my bed cuz I always come up with ideas when I’m about to fall asleep, and I can’t sleep until I’ve written them down =)
ehh? reasons to be excited about life. hmm.. So God, Country and Family is not enough? lol. Just Kidding ya. =D I was just a little confused on what you were trying to say. Was this article about trying to live a happy life?
“Yes, most clouds have silver linings. But sometimes getting hit in the head with a shovel is just getting hit in the head with a shovel. It’s not fun, there’s not much educational value, and your life really is better without it. ”
ain’t that the truth, reminds me of a quote which im about to misquote for sure:
“learn from other people’s mistake; cause you ain’t got time to do them all yourself”
Oh BTW, I love the website = ) it’s quite useful. Now, if only someone can explain to me what in the world is a rubidium oscillator. lol. OK thats the end of the rant.
Love
-A very happy person
Hi Luke, thanks for dropping in!
Yeah, this article wasn’t about happiness so much as finding the type of work that *could* make you happy.
For me, it was realizing that I really enjoy learning, writing and sharing insights with people — these hunches led to the creation of this site, which has made me happy in so many ways, a huge part of which is interacting with people I wouldn’t have met otherwise.
I’ve collected a few thoughts on happiness here, if you’re interested:
http://betterexplained.com/articles/collected-notes-on-success/
And yeah, I have no idea what a rubidium oscillator is, but maybe you can let us know once you figure it out
Hi again Kalid,
It’s rather amazing to see how some of the things I value the most are so similar to yours such as:
1. emphasis on self study
2. attempt to see the “big picture”
to name a few.
But one of the things I’ve found rather challenging (which I hope to get better at by trying to understand how you go about dealing with similar situations) is understanding mathematical concepts from the ground up. For instance, I’ve been struggling with the concepts of Linear Algebra for quite sometime now. Sure there are a ton of tutorials, wikis etc out there but none seem to focus on anything other that the sheer mechanics of it often times filled with completely abstract thoughts and ideas. When faced with a situation such as this, how do you go about gaining insights on the topic that eventually lead you to write these amazing guides?
I guess what I’m trying to get at is – rather that wait for someone (such as yourself) to write an “aha” inspiring article on the subject matter I’m having difficulty with, how do I go about gaining such insights on my own? Do you just pick up a book on the article and start pouring over it? Do you do extensive research on the subject matter from eclectic sources on the web, library etc or is it just a combination of these?
I’ll leave you with this popular quotation that I get reminded of when faced with questions such as the above
“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”
Oh and thanks for all those mind blowing articles by the way!
– Gokul
Hi Gokul, thanks for the comment! I love chatting with people with a similar interest in learning :).
I don’t really have a set method, it’s more trial-and-error over time. I’ve learned to start writing down my “aha” moments as they come (I can’t really force them) and I organize them by topic. So I have a text file for “calculus” in general, “limits”, algebra, etc. I just write down big and little epiphanies as they happen and hope to weave strands together.
When studying a subject I’ll look on Wikipedia and try to make analogies to what I already know. Most things fall into this pattern.
Linear algebra, for example, as a way of transforming inputs into outputs. The transformation can be a rotation, translation, scaling (basic Photoshop effects) and sometimes more exotic things. This helps me “get” how you arrange matrices, as the outputs of one stage must match the inputs of another (old article on this here: http://betterexplained.com/examples/papers/linearalgebra.pdf).
It’s been a while since I’ve had to search for insights under pressure of a test, I don’t know if I could find them on a schedule. Currently I read and write down what clicks, trying to figure out why the typical example didn’t work (Was it too simple? Too complex? Not addressing a corner case?).
You’re welcome for the articles, they’re fun to make :).
Hi Kalid,
I enjoyed reading your blogs. You are such a good technical communicator. The things you listed that you enjoy/are good at such as understanding technology and improving communication and usability are actually we technical writers strive to achieve.
I will come back for sure to read your blogs. Keep up the good work!
Tao
Hi Tao, thanks for the comment! I’ve always enjoyed trying to understand / explain things simply, appreciate the kind words.
I just discovered this article by reading through the archives. First off, fantastic site, I completely agree with you about the way math is taught. I find myself having to relearn everything I did before because I did not understand it. I simply memorized the equations and how to solve the, I took no time to understand the importance of what I was doing.
Second (and more relevant to this article), the “What should I do with my life?” link is a bit iffy. It now leads to a search function with articles like “acing a job interview!”. Shame, the original article sounds interesting.
Finally, looking at Steve Pavlina’s website and his recent articles, it looks like he’s clearly off into pseudoscience land. One of his most recent blog entries is “The #1 Mistake People Make When Using the Law of Attraction”.
Anyway, I really appreciate the work you do, and I eagerly wait for the next update.
@Jason: Thanks for the comment!
I fixed up the link to the article, I found it inspiring when in college.
Re: Steve Pavlina, I think his site has changed its focus over the years. The main essays I first enjoyed were about the “courage to live consciously”, i.e. taking the time and effort to pursue the question of what you wanted to do.
Thanks for the encouragement! The next article is in the works.
Sorry, my English isn’t good,
Could u tell me what is “exerts”? ( from: Read the “experts”)
Thanks very much, I found your blog is quite inspiring.
Here’s a snowflake generator I wrote for you in processing. You’re awesome!
/*
Snow flake generator.
Written by Saji. raju.saji@gmail.com
Public domain.
*/
import processing.opengl.*;
int TN = 8; // Number of triangles in half a leaf. Lower == better frame rate.
float[][] ts = new float[TN][];
color[]tc = new color[TN];
void setup(){
background(0);
size(300,300,P3D); // Lower resolution == better frame rate. Also, try OPENGL instead of P3D
noStroke();
for(int i = 0; i < TN; i++){
ts[i] = triangle_points();
tc[i] = color(random(255),random(255),random(255),50);
}
}
void draw(){
background(0);
if(frameCount % 400 == 0) {
for(int i = 0; i < TN; i++){
ts[i] = triangle_points();
tc[i] = color(random(255),random(255),random(255),50);
}
}
translate(width/2, height/2);
rotateX(sin(radians(frameCount/5)));
rotate(radians(frameCount));
for(int a = 0; a < 360; a += 60){
leaf(a);
}
}
float[] triangle_points(){
return new float[] {
random(0, width/2), 0,
random(0, width/2), random(0, height* 1/4),
random(0, width/2), 0
};
}
void leaf(int a){
for(int i = 0; i < TN; i++){
pushStyle();
fill(tc[i]);
pushMatrix();
rotate(radians(a));
triangle(ts[i][0],ts[i][1], ts[i][2],ts[i][3], ts[i][4],ts[i][5]);
rotateX(PI);
triangle(ts[i][0],ts[i][1], ts[i][2],ts[i][3], ts[i][4],ts[i][5]);
popMatrix();
popStyle();
}
}
You know, the same strengths that keep an INTP profile from caring about popularity and security are the same problems an INTP encounters in life in the guise of other people being annoying, not understanding you, or seeming daft or shallow. It’s not them, it’s you. But it’s like that for all the 16 profiles, in 16 different ways. Our weaknesses are our strengths overused or applied in inappropriate contexts.
its very nice.. very helpfull
@thyt: Thanks!
good job brother i agree with you
Instead of maintaining text files, I found http://hackpad.com a very good tool for creating your docs.
Disclaimer: I don’t work for hackpad.